I broke the coffee pot… again.

The grit and grace of broken things.

One of my favorite things to do is use a gratitude journal. Sitting with the ritual of counting gifts and gratitudes everyday centers my heart on the good, the beautiful, and the faithful. If I can start my day this way, I know it leaves me in a better, more peace-filled state to serve and love my family, my friends, and tend to that to-do list.

One morning in particular started this way. As I looked around counting gifts, I saw memories, moments, and gifts splattered across the walls and cluttering the countertops. I thought of how full my fridge is, even in a season of lack. I glanced at the calendar on the fridge and counted many joyful occasions ahead for this month and the rest of the year, an answered prayer of community and friendship in a new city. Evidence of the grit and grace of a hard year.

As the day went on the tasks and the dishes piled high. As I prepared to make lunch, I tended to the piles first. And then it all shattered.

In an instant, I remembered the peace and the satisfaction of the morning and simultaneously felt a burst of anger and anxiety swelling within me.

For the third time this year, I broke our Keurig coffee pot. So silly, so simple, and oh so frustrating.

 All I could do was shake my head. The only vessel we have to make coffee now utterly useless. How did this happen again, I thought, how have my hands not learned how fragile these coffee pots are?

The sheer irony is that just hours ago I was brimming with gratitude, my heart on a spiritual high for the abundance of blessings in a season of lament, of doubt, of utter hardship. And here I was, now a flustered flurry in the pit of my own emotional frustration and anxiousness.

I paused and thought of how fragile all the things around us are, how temporary. How fragile even my emotional state is, how certain seasons can have us on a tumultuous ride of highs and lows, grief and gratitude.

Then I remembered that while making breakfast this morning, I dropped an egg and everywhere it splattered. I had already made a mess today. I had already encountered the panic, the bitterness of self-reproach, but I hadn’t thought twice of it. I exhaled, then I stooped low to clean it up.

Over and over again, things break. We break. We make mistakes. We bend low and we get cleaned up.

When Paul writes his second letter to the Corinthians, he echoes this idea of human frailty and weakness as we face troubles on every side. 

2 Corinthians 4: “ ¹ Since God in his mercy has given us this new ministry, we never give up… ³ If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing… ⁶ For God, who said, ‘Let there be light in the darkness,’ has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God seen in the face of Jesus. ⁷ We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.’’

How beautiful it is that the Father uses us – His broken, fragile vessels – to carry His most perfect, unbreakable treasure. And though we break, He gives us His spirit and His power to carry out His good works. To share His message of hope, so that the glory may all be His.

2 Corinthians 4: ‘‘ ¹⁵ And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. ¹⁶ That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. ¹⁷ For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! ¹⁸ So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.’’

It is the unfortunate truth that the things in our lives, even our own bodies, will break and fall apart. And yet, those are often the most grace-filled moments that God uses to make us more like Himself, if we can fix our eyes on Him instead of on our mess. Because in those fragile moments we still contain the greatest treasure, the brightest of lights. So when life gets gritty and falls apart, when we break, the grace is still there amidst the shattered fragments. 

Take a breath, bend low, that you might see His grace.